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Thursday, November 22, 2007

'Mourning was turned into thanksgiving...'

Some of you may recognize this thought as being from a book about Jesus Christ. Just before Christ visited the people on the ancient American continent in chapter 11 of 3 Nephi... there is a vast separation between those who chose righteousness and those who chose wickedness. The voice of Christ comes and says that if [we] repent and return unto [him] with full purpose of heart that He will be there to receive us, "but if not, O house of Israel, the places of your dwellings shall become desolate until the time of the fulfilling of the covenant to your fathers. And now it came to pass that after the people had heard these words, behold, they began to weep and howl again because of the loss of their kindred and friends."

I trust that Christ is aware of us in our most difficult moments. He knows when I feel alone. He knows when I miss my brother. He is aware of how hard it is to build a life different than I had growing up. He is there for me when I am weeping...when I wish to rejoice but I am sad that those that I love cannot be here with me... all of these insights help me better appreciate these next verses:

"And it came to pass that thus did the three days pass away. And it was in the morning, and the darkness dispersed from off the face of the land, and the earth did cease to tremble, and the rocks did cease to rend, and the dreadful groanings did cease, and all the tumultuous noises did pass away. And the earth did cleave together again, that it stood; and the mourning, and the weeping, and the wailing of the people who were spared alive did cease; and their mourning was turned into joy, and their lamentations into the praise and the thanksgiving unto the Lord Jesus Christ, their Redeemer."

I woke up this morning and was sad. Holidays bring very mixed emotions. I miss my brothers. I miss my nieces and nephews. I just felt alone. But I got up. I took the dog for a run came home and made apple pie and just prayed constantly that I could put one foot in front of the other and feel something other than sadness. There was still sadness. Many memories flooding over me of past Thanksgivings, birthdays, times spent with loved ones now gone... but there was also great joy.

I had decided to do nothing. Even getting up this morning I was trying to come up with a way to avoid everyone and get out of any celebration... but I felt compelled to make the apple pie and go to the Angelos' home. They are the greatest family ever. If you ever want to feel loved--have the perfect dinner with the most genuine company and spend and ideal day... this is the place.

Their dad is our bishop--a great man. He shared a David Letterman top 10 ways to know if you've eaten too much list...then the following from President Bush:

Thanksgiving Day 2007 Proclamation by President Bush

Americans are a grateful people, ever mindful of the many ways we have been blessed. On Thanksgiving Day, we lift our hearts in gratitude for the freedoms we enjoy, the people we love, and the gifts of our prosperous land.

Our country was founded by men and women who realized their dependence on God and were humbled by His providence and grace. The early explorers and settlers who arrived in this land gave thanks for God's protection and for the extraordinary natural abundance they found. Since the first National Day of Thanksgiving was proclaimed by President George Washington, Americans have come together to offer thanks for our many blessings. We recall the great privilege it is to live in a land where freedom is the right of every person and where all can pursue their dreams. We express our deep appreciation for the sacrifices of the honorable men and women in uniform who defend liberty. As they work to advance the cause of freedom, our Nation keeps these brave individuals and their families in our thoughts, and we pray for their safe return.

While Thanksgiving is a time to gather in a spirit of gratitude with family, friends, and neighbors, it is also an opportunity to serve others and to share our blessings with those in need. By answering the universal call to love a neighbor as we want to be loved ourselves, we make our Nation a more hopeful and caring place.

This Thanksgiving, may we reflect upon the past year with gratefulness and look toward the future with hope. Let us give thanks for all we have been given and ask God to continue to bless our families and our Nation.

NOW, THEREFORE, I, GEORGE W. BUSH, President of the United States of America, by virtue of the authority vested in me by the Constitution and laws of the United States, do hereby proclaim Thursday, November 22, 2007, as a National Day of Thanksgiving. I encourage all Americans to gather together in their homes and places of worship with family, friends, and loved ones to reinforce the ties that bind us and give thanks for the freedoms and many blessings we enjoy.

IN WITNESS WHEREOF, I have hereunto set my hand this fifteenth day of November, in the year of our Lord two thousand seven, and of the Independence of the United States of America the two hundred and thirty-second.

GEORGE W. BUSH


The missionaries were there. A family in the ward who has no family here. And all but one of their kids--who is at BYU. You couldn't have asked for a better meal. Kristen, the mom, gave us little 'life's blessing bags' that Abbie had filled with kisses, nuts, and other candy--the sweet with the salty--some that you like and others that you don't prefer--tasting the salt on the m&m to remind you that you take the good with the bad... and with it came a greater appreciation of the good. I couldn't help but be grateful.

As I ran with the dog this morning, I was trying not to feel alone and feel sorry for myself and I focused on all that I do have...I am so grateful for my health. It was less than 3 years ago that I didn't have full function of all my organs and was so sick I couldn't eat anything. God is merciful. Healing is real. I am so grateful for enduring friendships--the kind that span over years and oceans and phases in life. For the sweet and funny texts and picture messages from loved ones.

For a phone call from my oldest brother--who is not a phone talker--makes me cry just thinking about how much I love him and how much his call meant. Speaking to my mother today. Although we've had our familial ups and downs, I love her very much.

For the great day we had--from sitting in the hot tub speaking of life's wisdom to having my hair braided and my makeup done *don't worry pictures to come ;)

It was a wonderful day. I hold to the hope that as the days continue to come... the memories will continue to get sweeter...or a little less painful.

I pray that everyone, everywhere found some reason for prayer and thanksgiving. I pray for all those that are lonely and sick or afflicted that they will find God and the peace that only He can bring. I pray for all those that sacrifice so I can be where I am today. I pray for the day when I can see my brother again and embrace like the day his baby girl was born--surrounded in pure joy. I pray for those that I love that have yet to accept God and his love. I pray that the spirit of Thanksgiving will remain with me as I continually cultivate an attitude of gratitude and a willingness to give and to serve. I pray that everyday I will see more reasons to thank God and that little by little my mourning will continue to turn to thanksgiving.

'Count your blessings...Name them one by one...'

2 comments:

Cassia said...

Thank you for sharing that. So many of your posts inspire me to be better... thank you! :) I'm so glad you were able to spend the holiday with such good people.

Rachel said...

There's a song I discovered a few months ago that I sing (at least in my head) or listen to in these moments... it's called "Everything" by Tim Hughes.

Thank you for your honesty. I really pray one day I will be that connected to the emotions I've suppressed for years to heal that pain that's wrapped around my heart.