This is my cactus... it was actually an old roommates and she couldn't make it grow--in her defense, she was never home and never really cared about it. When she moved it had 2 leaves and was brown and nearly dead. I decided I would take on the challenge and see if I couldn't bring it back to life... In the beginning (like is my nature...) I was over zealous. Watering it too often, smothering it if you will. Then I thought about the conditions most optimal for it's growth and I began to water it only when it drooped more than normal-about once a week. That was hard at first--I didn't want to ignore it while watering all our other plants, I didn't like to see it's leaves hang low--but--within a month the little cactus had 15 new blossoms... so apparently something was working. I then moved into a new south facing apartment that gets direct sunlight all day!!! Me and the plant both really like this :) Within just a few days there was incredible new growth. Then one day I was dusting and I knocked the cactus off... it was really traumatic... after all at this point in my massage program I didn't really have time for people so this cactus was basically my best friend... and here I killed it. I'd always heard that if you put the branch in water it would grow roots and you could replant it. So I put it in a little mason jar and put some water in it--but nothing really happened. A month passed--still nothing. When Jason and I broke up I bought a plane ticket to Florida and must admit--I forgot about the cactus. When I got home I figured it would have died, I hadn't watered it for 3 or 4 weeks by this point. What did I find...
but incredible new growth. Ironic wouldn't you say that during some of the most trying times in my own life as my own roots were being forced deeper and my faith was being tested and tried, the little cactus I'd neglected had forced it's roots deep enough to survive transplant and to produce new life.
In institute this week Brother Brooks told of President Eyring's experience as a member of the first Presidency of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. He shared that with the world we live in with wars, famines, trials of every kind--that sometimes it is very difficult to discern what to pray for--after all do the people need the famine, war or trials to progress...?
That's a really hard doctrine for me to digest sometimes. I need greater faith that the Lord knows me that he knows what I am capable of enduring, that he knows the circumstances that will best facilitate my roots sinking deep and my faith growing strong. He is the Lord of the vineyard. (see Isaiah 5 & 27 & Jacob 5) And sometimes that means allowing me to planted in rough ground, or allowing the winds to blow or allowing me to fight to survive.
As I ponder on the notion that the Lord already knows what I am capable of, he knows "that all these things shall give [me] experience and shall be for [my] good..." This life is for me to discover those things, it is for me to learn and to grow and to realize my divine worth and full potential. I think of Truman Madsen standing in the Holy Land asking Pres. Hugh B. Brown, why if God did not actually require the sacrifice of Isaac was Abraham asked to make such an offering..? To which Pres. Brown responded, "Abraham needed to learn something about Abraham."
Elder Sheldon Child spoke once of a conversation he had with a friend after a severe storm. He said, "The trees on one side of his home were standing straight and tall. They had weathered the storm well, while the trees that were in what I considered the prime spot on his property had not been able to withstand the heavy winds. He pointed out to me that the trees that survived the storm were planted on firm ground; their roots had to sink deep into the soil to receive nourishment. The trees he had lost were planted near a small stream, where nourishment was readily available. The roots were shallow. They were not anchored deeply enough to protect them from the storm.
Our testimonies, like those trees, must be built on a sure foundation, deeply rooted in the gospel of Jesus Christ, so that when the winds and rains come into our lives, as they surely will, we will be strong enough to weather the storms that rage about us."
As I watched someone I recently loved break into fits of rage this week, I have contemplated just how it is possible to stand strong amid the winds, rains, wars, famines and agency of others. I have come to the conclusion that it is only in and through Jesus Christ. Our faith must be grounded and centered in Jesus Christ in order to endure joyfully to the end and to produce salvation...and all true faith must be based upon correct knowledge or it cannot produce the desired results. Faith in Jesus Christ is the first principle of the gospel and is more than belief, since true faith always moves its possessor to some kind of physical or mental action; it carries an assurance of the fulfilment of the things hoped for. A lack of faith leads one to despair... (BD669-670).
God is aware. He knew we would have difficult times. He knew there would be great opposition. He allowed his only begotten son, even Jesus Christ to suffer the pains of all mankind, to provide a perfect example and to "[reveal] himself and his perfect character, possessing in their fullness all the attributes of love, knowledge, justice, mercy, unchangeableness, power, and every other needful thing, so as to enable the mind of man to place confidence in him without reservation" (BD 669). God is perfect I just need to learn to trust Him better and to place greater faith in His will.
