I love the Lord!
I just can't help but enumerate the blessings of the Lord in my life. He is truly leading me by the hand, opening the windows of Heaven and blessing me far beyond what I ever dreamt.
I know I haven't posted many things as of late and it has been a lack of time--not a lack of desire, or an apathy or even an unawareness [not sure if that is even a word...but at this time of night and on my own website... I'll call it poetic license and make it one ;)]
Every day I am more and more aware of the Love of the Lord in my life and all the blessings He has given me and continues to give me. I have so much. The people around me that love me--I have never felt so much love and support in my life--thank you to each and everyone of you that has touched my life for good.
I promised Jase I wouldn't stay up too late--and I could write forever tonight it seems--so I am going to pull a little something I did in the mission when there just wasn't time to write all that I wanted sorry many will be bullet points(there was never time sufficient to record all the blessings of sharing the gospel and serving 24x7 people you love and inviting them to Christ. Those same feelings of gratitude, peace, love, joy and humility swell sweetly in my heart tonight as I reflect upon the Lord's love in my life. I have learned that the more I stop to look at my blessings the more good I see around me, the more I appreciate, the more the Lord blesses me with and the more my heart expands.
The Lord's love has been manifest to me in so many ways, but is not limited to:
Jason. Really there is no way to sufficiently thank the Lord or even try to articulate the blessing he is in my life. I never knew that love like this existed. He treats me with such kindness and listens with such sincerity. He has the same desire to love and serve God, he makes it easier to feel joy and peace and happiness. He makes it easier to run fast and do good, but he also helps me not to run faster than I have strength. Jason loves the Lord. He honors the priesthood. He loves and respects his mother, he values her advice, he desires her happiness. He loves and looks up to his father, many of my fears about marriage and family subside as I see the way he emulates the life of his father. He is very sensitive to my needs. One day when I missed my brother he just held me and told me it was ok to cry--no ones ever done that before. We don't have to spend money or have some elaborate and expensive date to enjoy each others company. I can be exactly who I am when I am with him--he thinks I am beautiful just the way I am. We have AMAZING communication skills with each other, he'll let me know what he needs and I really try my best to meet them. He values me as a woman, he appreciates my love for God and my family and for my nieces and nephew and he loves them because I do. We share the love of misisonary work and teaching and singing and so many things. He writes in his journal too. Sometimes when he holds me or we go for a walk all the cares and concerns of the world melt into the ground and away from my mind. He is sincere in listening and speaking, he doesn't use vulgar language, when i read the talk from Elder Scott in priesthood session of the October General Conference of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, I thought of Jason. He personifies the attributes of Godliness and the characteristics spoken of in D&C 121. We can council and plan and work together--I can't wait for companionship study and the temple together and so many things! He has the light of Christ in his eyes and I understand better the Love of God as I come to better know and love and serve him. We had our first FHE--I guess it is like a pre-FHE--but Jason works Monday nights and can't make it to the ward one--we read the proclamation to the World on the Family and spoke of goals and ideals and the things we want to incorporate into our family. We can talk. In person--that's my favorite :) on the phone--on roadtrips--the one to Colorado wasn't long enough--we didn't turn the music on the whole way there--and maybe minutes on the way back but turned it off to enjoy better conversation. We don't want to go into debt--we want to keep things simple. He loves me despite my flaws and family of origin things--and often times I think even more because of them--because of the choices I have made and the strength that has resulted. We don't expect each other to be perfect. It is a HUGE leap of faith for us to get married and we are both equally yoked and willing to whole-heartedly work toward the ideal marriage and family. He appreciates my attention to detail and the little things I do for him--I CAN'T WAIT FOR CHRISTMAS--and for thoughtful gifts I know he'll love.
*The blessing of loving someone. I love to serve and express love and appreciation and admiration for Jason. Having a prayer in my heart each day that the Lord will help me to be sensitive to his needs, to know how I can love better and serve him and sacrifice and meet his needs. It is such a wonderful gift to receive impressions about how I can improve, that he may be hungry, or just to do something sweet. I have a lot to learn about expressing love--but someone once told me that if you love someone find a way to go out of your way at least once a day to express that love. I have found that as I do--that love expands--I see more ways I can ease his work load, whether it be helping with laundry, giving him the day to study, just massaging his shoulders or a nice note. It is like a love that has existed within my soul now has someone to love fully and care for and help in anyway I can--everything I learned loving and serving companions and roommates and family has taught me line upon line all the things I needed to now be learning like rapid fire.
*The constant companionship of the Holy Ghost.
–adjective
1. not changing or varying; uniform; regular; invariable: All conditions during the three experiments were constant.
2. continuing without pause or letup; unceasing: constant noise.
3. regularly recurrent; continual; persistent: He found it impossible to work with constant interruption.
4. faithful; unswerving in love, devotion, etc.: a constant lover.
5. steadfast; firm in mind or purpose; resolute.
6. Obsolete. certain; confident.
"Continuing without pause or letup" I don't think I have ever fully trusted in or lived up to the promise that the Holy Ghost can be my constant companion. I don't think I fully understand or appreciate it now--but now more than ever I am aware that I know very little. I am not capable of loving and learning and working and serving and doing all that is expected of me and I would fall flat on my face right now were it not for that constant companionship--which is enhanced so much with Jason in my life--someone else who is trying to live up to those blessings and promises as well and makes it easier to do so.
*Having the spirit of the Lord in my home
*A wonderful mission companion and friend who helped me and talked with me and just loved me today
*finding a parking place at the Mall
*finding 7$ in an old book
*a wonderful dinner date with Jase last night
*Peace
*the ability to sing again
*my cough going away
and good health in general--it is such a gift to have the energy to run for an hour--the endorphins it gives me and the way it clears my head and allows me to see clearly the blessings of the Lord and to prioritize
*a mother who has helped me everyday since I decided to get married--who has literally lost herself in my rushed wedding plans, spreadsheets and phone calls and family friends and dress shopping and bringing me and Jason dinner and driving to Provo when I just needed her friendship, and helping me plan things I never even would have thought about, and who has put away money to help me with a wedding that I never would have asked her to do,who wants me to be happy and feel beautiful on my wedding day and who makes great sacrifices for me, and who tried to find anyway to get my brother's kids out here for our wedding.
*A sister in law who loves me and through an engagement party for me and Jason and it was beautiful. She is a great cook and doesn't really even like to cook and made the most amazing 10 course mean(or so it seems) on silver and crystal and just welcomed Jason into the family, and is very happy for us.
*In-laws who are wonderful! I have never really seen a dad treat his family the way Bruce does--he just loves. He gives you a hug and tells you he loves you and listens and offers advice, or rubs your shoulders, or changes clothes late at night to offer a child a blessing, who checked the weather for us before we left and showed me family pictures and great vacation photos and just listened to who I was and truly cared, who loves and serves hundreds of people hour upon hour each week.
And Leslie who offers to take charge of the whole Colorado open house and who offers us advice and tells us things that worked well in their wedding and suggests things we may want to do differently, who gets so little sleep and then gets up early and makes a huge breakfast for everyone and then before the breakfast is even over is preparing Sunday dinner to cook. Who has 3 kinds of homemade cookies in the cookie jar, who takes pictures of all the kids lovingly wrestling and tickling each other, who has everything so organized and in it's place that the home functions so smoothly--I love the kitchen and helping and cooking and I couldn't even help without getting in the way things were so efficiently under way, she'd do anything for us, helping us with a crazy fast wedding and probably hoping we'd date for a year--but still trusting us and loving us offering her assistance, she has loved the man I am marrying all these years and helped him with so many things and continues to, and is an amazing cook! Honestly as good as my mom's cooking--and you know that is not something I throw out lightly if you know me at all!
Scott--the funnest one to scare and tease Jase with--Had an absolute blast with him. He just has a way of making you feel at ease and making you laugh and welcoming you to the family. And his wonderful wife Cortney--seriously a doll! I was so scared I didn't even want to go to Colorado--what if I fell short--what if they didn't like me? And not even knowing me--she sends me these sweet and inspired notes that calmed all my fears about meeting them and being accepted. I had wanted to add her as a friend on facebook but didn't know if it was weird--not she totally beat me to it--one of the most thoughtful people I have ever met.
Then there is Brett--I so love Brett--one of best hearted guys ever (I think it runs in the greatest family anyone could ever hope to marry into!) Who showed me hilarious youtube videos that made my stomach hurt from laughing--who might want to come across as a little rough around the edges but is so not (sorry Brett :) And who hides a bit of his sincere soul behind a little bit of long hair. Who didn't complain once even though he was in blinding pain from a car accident only weeks prior.
AND Kellie--Everyone in the world would be lucky to have the welcome hugs and screams and love that Kell offers at first chance--so loving--so accepting--so much energy and light and fun! I loved her from the very beginning and when we left I really didn't want to say good-bye to her!
AND (I know you are not going to believe all these amazing blessings are real, or that in-laws really are so phenomenal...BUT it's true!)
Grandma & Grandpa Hammond are so wonderful! They just absorbed me into the family, tickling us and teasing us and making me blush at dinner ;) They made a wonderful salad, and talked about all the wonderful things about their beloved grandson Jason, and took pictures of us and blogged about us and are coming all the way over from Colorado to seal us in the temple 2 days after Christmas! And who have Christmas Eve at their house :) I have missed the loved of grandparents, some of my favorite parts of my life were memories of cutting and decorating a Christmas tree for my great grandma B, she died when I was 9. I think of her often and make her authentic Swiss foods to share with Jase. I love my Grandma and Grandpa Fisher--the spirit was attached to my Grandpas tear ducts ;) I think of him when I get up crazy early and get lots accomplished in a day, he died when I was 14, and his sweet little Red, followed after when I 20. She lived with while she was really sick and some of my fondest memories are with her. She left me her mothers diamond that survived the great depression and it has symbolized so many of the losses the Lord has helped me to endure--they left a legacy of love for me to enjoy and the Hammond's remind me of that living love.
*the 3 pennies at the mall
*Jenna who was so helpful at Eternity Bridal
*all the sweet posts and emails from people that love me and Jason
*the blessing of the wedding dinner
*the impression to go to Southwest
*the thought to email an old friend who has moved away and express my love
*the Bare Essentials artist who offered to do my makeup for engagement and bridals and wedding for free
*Sipping lemonade
*a clean apartment (we had cleaning checks and all my roommates helped clean--it is so wonderful!
*Rebecca offering to fix my Disneyland mug that got broken
*Seeing Kim and a wonderful bridal shower!
*Suzy offering to help with wedding plans and dress shopping
*Offers for and people throwing bridal showers in Provo and Bountiful
*Jeri helping me with DOPL stuff for my business--ahh the joys of owning your own business
*inspired and loving visiting teachers who made major sacrifices to come tonight and who testified of celestial marriage
*the blessing of the temple--working and being a patron there!
*an offer to settle the auto-ped accident from when I got hit by a truck jogging that came today!
*Jason's hookup with married student housing
*finding $20 from a client payment in my scriptures
*the carriage notion
*registering for classes
*a kiss goodnight from the one I love
*a loving and inspired bishop who will counsel and guide and lead and love us.
*Bro. Mac in Florida who continually offers advice and reality checks and guidance
*Christianne :) [don't worry these are in no particular order]
*the power of the priesthood
*the ability to see the good in life and to laugh and to skip and to dance and to sing
*mission memories and sweet conversations with loved ones
*Getting through November 18th better than last year
*healing and being ok in my heart that Sydney, Stockton and Samantha can't come to my wedding
*the perfect engagement ring that I would have picked out myself--but Jason picked it out all on his own
*the lesson in RS/Stake conference where they said--now hypothetically you are engaged in a very serious relationship and moving toward marriage and would like to counsel with your loving Father in Heaven--these are the things he would say to you as his daughter--He knows me. He knows that part of my heart that has always longed to be loved and guided and taught by a father here on Earth--and as ALWAYS he makes up the difference, places people in my life to love and help and teach me all that I need to learn and grow and become more like him--Thank you Heavenly Father!
*for a fiance who has kept his life free from the filth and impurities of the world and who's touch is gentle and affectionate and not abusive or abrasive.
*for a shared desire we have to share the gospel with others
*for repentance--when I am prideful or stupid I get a chance to get down on my knees and ask the Lord to help me do better and be better and to apologize to He and Jason alike and then to change my course of action, better admit when I am wrong, ask for forgiveness and then seek to replace my ignorance or pride, or even just lack of knowledge with the light and truth the Lord has again placed on the Earth.
*for good friends from every phase of my life
*for the sunshine! It just makes me happy.
*For clients and the ability and energy to work
*that my cough has gone away and my health improved
*for good insurance
*both Jase and I having T-mobile so we can switch to the same plan without cancelling one of our plans and paying defaults
*bring a friend to the gym free days :)
*Obedience!
*following those impressions to move in August--what if either of us had ignored them?
*The engaged couples stake fireside
*Jason's mentor papers, and getting his assignments in on time last night :)
*making homemade hot fudge and ice cream for him last night!
*Andrea! Sharing her feelings about good friends! AND the talk from conference in May about the woman who touched the hem of the Savior.
*Offering to help with Brooke's bridal shower
*helping and having the right size clothes from SMC to help with the sub for Santa today and realizing there is so much more than my wedding to worry about and looking beyond myself
*gas prices going down & good gas mielage
*milk
*the windows of heaven opening
*the opportunity to pay tithes and offerings
*the vision of clients and setting goals as in PMG
*greater faith in the Lord
*sleep...
Oh sleep does sound nice ;)
There are so many more people and things to appreciate in my life--and I will continue to recognize the hand of the Lord in my life--Thank You!!!
