Multiple factors last night and today have caused my mind to be drawn up in active contemplation...
The first of which was a thought-provoking conversation with a good friend last night [an aside: I love such friends. I would love to be surrounded all day long with these type friends.] This conversation made me think about where I am in life and where I want to be...long-term goals and the 'grown-up' things of life.
This coupled with the sadness and loss I had been feeling for the few days prior [a residual wave of sorrow from Scott's sudden death last year] to produce numerous feelings of discontentment.
Then, being unable to calm these troubled feelings, I wrote last nights blog of sorrow. I struggle finding the balance between allowing myself to feel [rather than being numb] and being stuck in the pain. Last night I could only see the pain. A good man here once told me that nothing positive comes from focusing on something negative...I have tried to take this imparted wisdom and apply it to my life... but there are sometimes when it is more difficult than others...the past few days for instance...
Last night I longed for contentment. I sought solace. I plead for peace. I was unable to attain it. And thus, today's topic for personal study:
How can I cultivate consistent feelings of contentment amid all the variable factors in my life. Even with the pain and the uncertainties--there must be a way.
http://www.lds.org "Content with the Things Allotted unto Us" Elder Maxwell, May 2000 Ensign. There have been times in my life when I am grounded in correct principles and am 'centered' as I need to be--and I am increasing in my capacity to faithfully remain centered in Christ and not become focused on the peripheral. I highly recommend this article by Elder Maxwell... Some of the points that stood out to me:
"Within what is allotted to us, we can have spiritual contentment. Paul described it as 'godliness with contentment,' signifying the adequate presence of attributes such as love, hope, meekness, patience, and submissiveness (1 Tim. 6:6).
Yet there are other fixed limitations in life. For instance, some have allotments including physical, mental, or geographic constraints. There are those who are unmarried, through no fault of their own, or yearning but childless couples. Still others face persistent and unreconciled relationships within their circles of loved ones...In such and similar situations, there are so many prickly and daily reminders.
Being content means acceptance without self-pity. Meekly borne, however, deprivations such as these can end up being like excavations that make room for greatly enlarged souls."
If all these things really are for my good and my experience... what exactly is the Lord excavating...and what ought I to cultivate to replace such vacated space within my soul. The first thought to come to mind is charity. If I am to pray with all my heart to be filled with charity... I guess I need some renovations done in order to clear some space for it... Just like with my will and timing...sometimes I need a recking ball in order to 'yield' to His will and timing...next thought:
"Thus, developing greater contentment within certain of our existing constraints and opportunities is one of our challenges. Otherwise we may feel underused, underwhelmed, and under appreciated—while, ironically, within our givens are unused opportunities for service all about us. Neither should we pine away, therefore, for certain things outside God’s givens, such as for the powerful voice of an angel, because there is so much to do within what has been allotted to us (see Alma 29:3–4). Furthermore, varied as our allotted circumstances may be, we can still keep the commandments of God!
Meanwhile, we serve as each other’s clinical material in the particular sample of humanity constituting 'what is allotted unto [us].' The sample may shrink or swell, but most important is what we are and what we do within those varied allocations and in the particular “work to which [we] have been called” (Alma 29:6).
Incremental improvement is, therefore, the order of the day, and it clearly requires the accompaniment of the Lord’s long-suffering as we struggle to learn the necessary lessons.
Performance is what matters, not the size of the stage. The Sea of Galilee, only 13 miles by 7, was nevertheless large enough to provide the disciples with a vital experience involving faith and walking on the water (see Matt. 14:22–33). The wind was boisterous and frightening! Even so, compare the size of those Galilean swells and the length of that storm with what Nephi and party had to endure on the vast ocean! (see 1 Ne. 18:13–21). Yet both episodes provided the needed learning experiences.
Life’s necessary defining moments come within our allotments, and we make 'on the record' choices within these allotments. Our responses are what matter. Sufficient unto each life are the tests thereof! (see Matt. 6:34).
Ponder how Jesus was and is the Lord of the universe (see D&C 45:1; D&C 76:24; Moses 1:33; Moses 2:1). Yet His ministry, as we all know, was accomplished in a very tiny geographical space. His ministerial travels were very limited. Yet therein the Savior accomplished the Atonement for all of mankind! There were certainly much more prominent hills than Golgotha and much more resplendent gardens than Gethsemane. No matter; these were sufficient to host the central act of all human history!
We can draw upon that glorious Atonement by repenting. We can learn to serve and to forgive within our sample of humanity
The justice and mercy of God will have been so demonstrably perfect that at the Final Judgment there will be no complaints, including from those who once questioned what God had allotted in the mortal framework (see 2 Ne. 9:14–15; Alma 5:15–19; Alma 12:3–14; Alma 42:23–26, 30).
Hence, we can and 'ought to be content with the things allotted to us,' being circumstantially content but without being self-satisfied and behaviorally content with ourselves (see 3 Ne. 12:48; 3 Ne. 27:27; Matt. 5:48).
Such contentment is more than shoulder-shrugging passivity. It reflects our participative assent rather than uncaring resignation.
The Lord knows our circumstances and the intents of our hearts, and surely the talents and gifts He has given us. He is able to gauge perfectly how we have performed within what is allotted to us, including by lifting up some of the many surrounding hands that hang down. Thus, yearning for expanded opportunities while failing to use those at hand is bad form spiritually.
Therefore, the Lord does not seek to overwhelm us but instead to help us overcome the world! (see D&C 64:2; Rev. 3:21).
Thus, within our allotments we see how the saintly display kindness even within barbed-wire circumstances, yet others have barbed attitudes even within opulence. Meanwhile, the discontented continue to build their own pools of self-pity, some Olympic size.
When spiritually aligned, a poise can come, even when we do not know 'the meaning of all things' (1 Ne. 11:17). Such contented assurance produces not arrogance but quiet acceptance, which is its own form of being 'anxiously engaged' but without all the bells and whistles (D&C 58:27; see also D&C 58:28).
However, this spiritual contentment rests on our accepting the Atonement of Jesus, because we 'have come to a knowledge of the goodness of God, and his matchless power, and his wisdom, and his patience, and his long-suffering towards the children of men; and also, the atonement which has been prepared from the foundation of the world' (Mosiah 4:6).
Again, brothers and sisters, seeing Alma move from wanting to be a 'trump' to being a humble 'instrument' and from wanting to 'shake the earth” to 'perhaps [bringing] some soul to repentance' is a stunning transition! Furthermore, isn’t it wonderful that we are permitted to grow, whether that growth is expressed in the space of nine verses or in a lifetime?"
Ok...there are so many thoughts that were spurred while studying this topic...more that I may dive into in greater detail later...but for now it sufficeth me to say that I have once again been inspired to strive for more constant feelings of contentment with every factor of my life considered. I know that is going to mean even more frequent and fervent communication with God to replace the yearning of my heart, the anxiety in my mind, and the uncertainty of my future.
But in Christ all things are possible...
