"Pathways to Perfection"

OK--so it has been a while since I have used this as a tool in helping me to articulate the things going on in my mind--I want to share the experience of the day.

I must start by sharing with you my favorite scripture, the pursuit of my life if you will: it is the admonition given by our Savior Jesus Christ in His sermon on the mount: Be ye therefore perfect even as your Father in Heaven is perfect.

I love that. When I sought out the purpose of life and found the gospel of Jesus Christ--that is the what propelled me forward. *A good reminder for me in discerning where things are coming from--any admonition from God moves me forward--it does not discourage, frustrate, or depress me.

Why then do I so often become fettered by feelings of inadequacy? Falling short. Fear and self-doubt? No good parent--and especially no--perfect--loving Father in heaven is going to reinforce those chains with which I am bound.

The past few days have been replete with such provisions to prevent my progress--why?
In the various capacities I have had as a teacher, I have always made it very clear to my students that frustration and opposition are actually a good thing--it clearly indicates for me as the facilitator of learning that the learning curve has intensified--we are moving farther from the comforts of complacency and as the level of difficulty is increasing--and as a result-their knowledge has increased along with the ability to practically apply what they have learned.

Let me demonstrate: I met a little boy that was 3 years old. He HATED to ski. His dad loved to ski--so he got dropped 3 times a week at the mountain school so that we would teach him to love to ski. The little boy would cry and scream until his teachers all got frustrated and he got to go inside and drink hot chocolate. Each time when his father dropped him off he screamed and cried--finally i couldn't stand it anymore i had to comfort the little kid--so i went up to him and tried to calm him down--[seeing this my boss immediately transferred him to my class]--that's ok--the only problem was that I taught the crazy little dare devil kids that were better than most adults. So "Blake" came with us--

Even before he had his boots on he was whining--so I asked him--
"what's your favorite part of skiing?"
"The part where I don't have to do it."
"why?" I asked?
"Because." A very typical answer from a 3 year old.
"Because why?" A very typical question from any adult (or pseudo adult ;)
"Because I can't do it."
"Did you know that is why you are here? You get to learn to ski? In fact, you are with the best class (don't worry they were all the best class--for the students I had on any given day ;)--and you can learn to ski--if you want to."
"You mean I can ski with him then?" Being very aware of my gender--he was not talking about skiing with me--but he was excited--
"uh, your dad?" --a shot in the dark.
"yeah--can I ski the tram today--he skis the tram--and he loves the cirque and he comes up here all the time--and if I am really good then I can ski with him--and I can ski the tram and he won't be mad."
[whoa]
"Blake, do you get upset because you can't ski the tram? With your dad? Yet?"
"I love skiing with my dad. And everyday he has to come back and get me cause i haven't learned to ski the tram."
"Did you know that if you ski with me today and you learn how to turn then you will be even closer to skiing with your dad on the tram?"
"no. I just want to ski with him now."
"I know you do Blake, but you have to start with turns. Your Daddy didn't start on the tram--I PROMISE."

This poor little kid was so frustrated at himself that he couldn't ski the tram that he went weeks without learning to turn. People that were not nearly as good--OR as DARING as he was--passed him up because everyday while he was drinking hot chocolate and crying that he wasn't perfect NOW--they were working. He wanted to be a perfect skier without the basics. And everyday he could see his Dad's frustration--because almost everyday he had to come into the ski school early and bail out his bawling little boy. Both were frustrated. As soon as the little kid saw the point of the everyday annoying drills, and each little turn getting him closer to tearing off cornices, or shredding cliffs with his dad--he came to class and tore down the mountain with us. This is not to discredit the level of difficulty it is for a 3 year old to learn to ski--most of these kids still take naps--have NEVER been away from mom and dad--and they get put into 9 hour ski days with a total stranger--the experience is exhausting--even with lunch and hot cocoa--and the little refuges afforded them--LEARNING ANYTHING IS HARD.

So why did I prefer to teach 2-5 year olds? The tears, the tantrums, the bathroom breaks every 15 minutes...? The lack of knowledge. Sure they didn't know how to ski--that part is obvious. Most children are not equipped with a knowledge of parallel ski formation at birth--but they also have not yet learned to do it the wrong way.
If you tell a child to lean back--he or she will fall over backward. If you tell an adult to lean back--they will lean forward, think, "sure, like you know-I'd fall over of I leaned back--I know best" and then they pay you for it--it is obvious to all that are observing--but to the person--they think they are learning--after all it is costing them 640$/hour so their itemization says they ought to be learning.

So how do you break out of living the wrong way if it is all you have known? What if you are so fixated on being perfect that you don't even know how to be?

One of my favorite AA sayings: Back to the basics.
So when I logged on this morning the quote on my home page was great--learning discipline--becoming better etc. So I went back to the talk as the afternoon wore on--and the day grew more difficult: Pathways to Perfection, by President Thomas S. Monson. hhtp://www.lds.org/portal/site/LDSOrg/menuitem.b12f9d18fae655bb69095bd3e44916a0/?vgnextoid=2354fccf2b7db010VgnVCM1000004d82620aRCRD&locale=0&sourceId=09368c6a47e0c010VgnVCM1000004d82620a____&hideNav=true%09%09%09%09%09%09%09%09%09%09

It is amazing. I am far from perfect. In fact, now more than ever before in my life I am aware of my imperfections. Losing my brother I realize that this life is very fragile. That I cannot save the world. I cannot, but God can. He has. And I think as powerfully as my desire to become perfect and my passion for this topic--I am also learning to be human. My whole life I have spent worrying about things and people--that in the end--are beyond my control. And I have found great comfort in knowing a few simple things.

1. God loves me perfectly.
2. God knew I would not be perfect
3. And He still loves me.
4. Because I am not perfect--I more perfectly see my need and reliance on God.
5. Again--He still loves me

In the Book of Mormon (the best book I've ever read if you are looking for direction)
one of the last books within the book, Ether--in chapter 12 God enlightens us relative to wanting a better world (verse4) "Wherefore whoso believeth in God might with surety hope for a better world, yea even a place at the right hand of God--which hope cometh of faith--maketh and anchor to the souls of men which would make them sure and steadfast always abounding in good works being led to glorify God"--something that in my pursuit of perfection I really want to see realized--that better world. and then 23 verses later--"And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them." and verse 28 "Behold, I will show unto the Gentiles their weakness, and I will show unto them that faith, hope and charity bringeth unto me—the fountain of all righteousness."

Wow--in pursuit of perfection--to be endowed--given-blessed with-weakness that we may come to know God and realize His purposes.