A Wonderful Year: 2008

This has been a wonderful year of growth & learning & love.

I have learned to better celebrate life. *December 30, 2008

It was this time last year that I was driving from Florida to Utah.

As I drove back to many painful memories, uncertainties, & a lot of unfinished goals...I looked ahead to 2008 with a great deal of anxiety & apprehension but I wanted to do great things, I wanted to know who I was & where I was headed.

I wanted to improve my relationships with my family members, I intended to finish my last few classes @ BYU. I wanted to date good men. I knew a lot of what I didn't want--particularly being around so few that shared my faith in Jesus Christ & enthusiasm for the Gospel of Jesus Christ. I wanted to be able to support myself financially, I wanted to settle the Allstate mess from when their client hit me while jogging, I planned to establish a chapter for the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention here in Utah, I sought healing from my brother's death & many answers, I wanted to be able to forgive myself for not saving his life & to move on healthily & pursue my dreams. I wanted to improve how I felt about myself. I knew it was time to come back & face the things that occurred prior to my sabbatical to south Florida.

What I learned was to 'let go & let God.'

I learned to trust that all the righteous desires of my heart will be realized in the Lord's due time & that all too often I want it my way. I have learned so much from the things in my life I hadn't planned for and couldn't see this year...

*the trials in my life have brought me closer to my family than I even knew possible.
*The people the Lord placed in my life & allowed me to remain in contact with are the greatest blessing of all.
*Massage school provided many growing opportunities & an earning capacity that allows me to continue my education without all the fear & anxiety.
*Working in the temple continues to teach me many of the things I need to establish my own house--now and in the future.
*I was able to act as AFSP Event Chair for SLC & complete the necessary requisites for a chapter to be established here--including the very successful first annual 5K.
*I was blessed to love & serve the sisters in the Relief Society again & employ many things I learned from my imperfections the first time around.
*I got to spend wonderful time with my nieces & nephew while they visited this spring & summer.
*I have gotten so excited for Brad & Abby's baby to arrive--soon!
*I have gotten to spend some truly wonderful time with my mom.
*I have moved into a wonderful ward where I feel at home & am able to love & serve many people.
*I have dejunked my life--giving many things to charity & throwing away a lot as well.
*I settled the Allstate claim December 24th! It took the whole year...
*I got accepted to return & finish BYU.
*I have learned to love & respect myself.
*I have had the opportunity to date a couple of incredible guys & really get to know them this year & to see much more clearly what I want in an eternal companion & what I expect of myself.
*I have found great peace & healing through the atonement of Jesus Christ & service to others & answers relative to Scott's death.
*I learned that through faith I truly can endure all things. There is no darkness that the rising sun does not penetrate, no wound that cannot be healed, no offense that cannot be forgiven, no pain that cannot be endured--through Christ--all things are possible.
*I work diligently to maintain good emotional, physical & spiritual health.
*I know who I am & where I am headed.
*I have learned to accept my best effort & have overcome many perfectionistic tendancies.
*I have improved my strivings to please God & not others.
*I have learned to say no, and not plead my case as to why.
*I have learned that I am capable of loving unconditioanlly.
*I have improved through repentance & truly changing my heart, actions & course in life.
*I have learned the difference between wants & needs & I have learned to go without.
*I have become much more assertive, setting aside passive aggressive behavior.
*I have set healthy boundaries & maintained them while establishing independance.
*I have become less sarcastic & cynical--much more authentic.
*I am more consistent & unwavering.
*I have cultivated greater faith in Jesus Christ & had hundreds of opportunities to share His love with those around me.
*I have increased in consistently following the impressions of the spirit.
*I have learned to better see the Lord's hand in my life & record those blessings.
*I have learned about the agency of those I love & I have respected it.
*I have learned to dream again.
*I have worked to accept love & feel worthy of the Love of others.
*I have visited my mission & the people I love in Washington.
*I have visited Florida & the people I love there.
*I was able to see the LDS Recovery groups established throughout the peninsula that Christianne & I worked so hard to see implemented.
*I was able to bring many weaknesses to God, accept my humanity & allow Him to make me better than I was before.

*I am a work in progress & look forward to another wonderful year of joy, happiness, learning & growth--Afterall it's all about finding the 'joy in the journey'!!!